Good afternoon Internet-swimmers. Sorry, Jonathan says that should be surfers. Isn’t surfing the one you do with the big board? But what does that have to do with – ?
Jonathan is asking me to keep to the point. So: I am writing today to encourage you to consider your manners, and whether they are good enough for cultivated company.
Allow me to tell you why I am writing this. While I was reading aloud an extract from a book about the royal family just now, someone who shall remain nameless, because I cannot at the moment countenance mentioning the word Charlie, thought it appropriate to pick his nose repeatedly and eat what he was pulling out. You may realise this already, but that is what we call bad manners. I may say though that I can’t think of any situation when picking one’s nose and eating the results really constitutes good manners, even if you aren’t emitting the significant grunts of enjoyment that Charlie was. Although sometimes when I look out of the window I see Paula’s father doing the same before he gets out of the car. Please don’t repeat that to anyone.
Another example concerns when one makes an embarrassing bodily sound by mistake (naturally I am not speaking of myself). Sometimes it’s just unavoidable, as I’m sure you know. And someone – it might be a big grey rabbit, for example, or it might not – laughs uproariously on hearing the noise and asks one to do it again. That is also bad manners. I am trying to teach this to the other animals but am struggling to progress.
If any of you has any stories about how you are teaching animals to have good manners, I should be pleased to read them.
With thanks and all my love —